I worry about what’s waiting for me on the other side of your childhood.

I’m afraid to lose the bits of you that I see right now –

The squishy bits. The silly bits.

The parts of you that are innocently honest and curious.

I’m afraid to rediscover the bits of me that I’ve tucked away over the years –

The selfish bits. The independent bits.

The parts of me that have purpose and meaning outside of motherhood.

And please don’t tell me that it will all be okay.

I know it will be.

I know I will find my own joys and love the versions of you that are coming.

I know that our four walls are not the only place that we can be happy.

I just really like how we are right now

And the way that our lives are so deeply intertwined.

Which is why, on occasion,

I worry about what’s waiting for me on the other side of your childhood.